A Funny Heroic Tale
by kellycfan
Summary: What if Jane were dating Dean and he turned into an evil samurai guy, and Grant must save her? This is a Funny Story and I do not wish this to actually happen. Rated T just in case


**Author's note one: Alright, first of all this is my very first story. It is a very comedic story and is intended to be funny, not serious. I do like Jane and Grant together, but in no way do I want things to go down like this. This story started as an inside joke between me my friend. I was always too nervous to write a story, so she said I should write a comedic one before a serious one so I'll get practice writing. I am now working on a serious one. And to say again in case you did not see this: This is a funny story. If you fell like you might be offended, just don't read it. Some people like to stick with serious stories. If you are reading, however, prepare to laugh…**

Joe Grant was sitting in his apartment, doing nothing in particular. Now that he thought about it, he has been doing this ever since Jane started seeing agent Dean. He would just come home and sit. Just sit until it was time to go to bed, which was like 2 in the morning or so, but it still was the same. He would just sit until 2 in the morning.

Tonight was no exception. Of course, he always hoped for something else to happen. Someone to come over, an unexpected work call, just even a call in general! Most times, however, he was let down. As he sat and sat, something did actually happen. The phone began to ring. "Hello?" Grant mustered out. _Probably just a work call_, he thought. But when the other line started to speak, his idea changed.

"Grant, it's me, Jane. Listen, I need your help. Dean's become some sort of evil-samurai-guru-like thing and is holding me hostage at the abandoned warehouse down the street, and- OH MY GOSH HE HAS A SAMURAI SWORD!" _Click_.

What? Jane's in trouble? Come on, that's just not like her to get herself in a situation like that. Unless…. unless her and Dean had been on a date and she let her guard down. Grant figured he better hurry down to the warehouse. Jane would've never called him if she wasn't in actual trouble. He ran to his weapon closet and pulled out his samurai sword (he's not sure why he actually has one of those) jumped into his awesome driving vehicle (alright, it's only a suburban, but we can stretch the truth here) and headed out to the abandoned warehouse, which was conveniently only a few minutes from his house. Oh, the irony.

As he jumps out of his "Burb", he sees a couple of ninja's standing outside of the door. "Great," uttered Grant, "He's expecting me. This just makes the situation worse than it could've been. Thanks a lot Dean. You're _awesome_," he concluded with just a hint of sarcasm. He hides his sword behind his back and approaches said ninjas. He's not sure how he hid it, but he did. Pretty cool. Back to the story, he approaches said ninjas and remarks very sarcastically:

"Hey guys, waz up? So I here your fearless leader has a girl trapped inside there. Is that true? Cause I was sent here to save said girl. So if you guys could just move aside and let me in to do my heroic duty, that would be great." However, he got this response: The ninjas started running towards him. _Here's where my sword comes in_, he thought. He then proceeds to whip out his awesome swords. "Oh I'm ready for you"

Suddenly, those two ninjas started attacking from both sides. Their draws were pretty quick, but Grant knew his was oh-so-better. As the first ninja approached, Grant sprung forward and attacked. That ninja went down. And Grant meant down. Ninja-man was out cold with one attack. "Now where did that other little ninja decide to go?" Grant wondered.

Little did he know that the second ninja was running up behind him, trying to get Grant on a secret attack. But Grant was smarter than that. As the ninja was running, Grant had figured out the ninja's motive, and still had time to turn around. Grant was now face-to-face with the second ninja. The second ninja stopped dead in his tracks.

"What, are you too scared to come and get me?" asked Grant.

"No, I just..uh..uh," the ninja started to stammer out.

"Aw, I thought you weren't supposed to talk," Grant taunted. "You're a ninja. Ninjas should be quiet in able to keep their cover. But I can still talk because I'm the good guy here. How about I help you get your cover back?" And with that last taunt, Grant launched himself at the ninja, and let's just say that ninja's not going to be able to make some phone calls to his mommy.

With the door clear open, Grant proceeded to creep inside the building. He had to be extra careful just in case there were extra ninjas around the warehouse. As he proceeded, there were suddenly three more ninjas in front of him. "Oh, you guys want a piece of me too? Did you see how your little friends ended up outside?" The ninjas obviously ignored him and he could see this. "Well fine, you guys asked for it." He proceeded to kick each ninjas' butt accordingly, leaving the three ninjas in a pile of defeated ninjas. "Five ninjas down, who knows how many to go, plus one Agent Dean." Grant murmured as he continued on. He looked around in the warehouse. "You know, I don't remember there ever being this many rooms in this warehouse…"

"That's because there never was…" said a mysterious voice from afar.

"Who's there? Show yourself!" yelled Grant into the abyss. The mysterious voice soon cam closer and closer. It showed up to be… some random guy? "Dude, you're just some random guy. You're here because?"

"Well, I'm here because I live in the warehouse. Dean offered me a spot on his evil team, and I agreed," said the random guy.

"Uhhh.. Okay then. Well, it's time for you to go to nighty-sleep time because you are on Dean's team," Grant started while drawing out his samurai sword.

"WAIT! I don't want to die," said random guy. "How about this: you spare my life, and I'll tell you what room Dean's holding her in? How's that."

After a long pondering session, Grant replies, "Fine. But if I find out that you lied to me on what room they are in I will come back and do what I was planning on doing. Is that clear?"

"Oh yes, kind sir."

"Then proceed to tell me"

"Dean is keeping her in that all the way down at the end. I swear about it. You'll find her trapped in there and Dean also in there. But be careful. He's expecting you."

"Alright. Thanks random guy in the warehouse." Grant replied. "May you find what's right in life and not follow Dean. I must be on my way." Grant then headed down the big open space to find that there was a door at the end. And he could here something coming out of it. He stood by a listen closely. He could here Jane speak.

"You might have me now Dean, but trust me, Grant's going to be here to kick your butt soon!" Jane spat out to Dean. Grant shook his head. He loved her, but she really need to learn how to keep her mouth shut. That's how Dean knew he was coming. Soon Dean began to speak.

"Trust me, my ninjas outside are going to take care of him for me. He's not going to even make it this far," Dean said with a giant laugh.

Grant burst into the room at that point. "Oh really Dean? Because I am pretty sure I am standing right here in front of you and made it this far. So what's your giant plan, anyway? Why do what you are doing right now?"

"Oh it's very elaborate, my dear Grant. See, when I kidnapped Miss Rizzoli, I expected her to call you. I didn't let her know that or else she would've never called. I then wanted you to come and meet my ninjas. They were supposed to wipe you from existence. Once gone, I was hoping to give Jane some form of amnesia, forgetting any of this ever happened. You would be gone, and she would love me forever, and we would've never seen your face ever again."

"News flash pal. I don't think half of that is even logical. It just doesn't make any sense."

"Just go along with it, OK?"

"Fine, Fine. I guess this is the part where I give my good guy speech. Well, here it goes," Grant started. "Your plan will never work. I love Jane Rizzoli and possess awesome skills. With those things combined, mainly the first one, I can defeat you easily, Dean. So bring it on." With that last statement, Dean started rushing forward at Grant with his sword. However, Grant drew his out, and the swords clashed. With everything Dean threw at him, Grant was able to block it off and defend himself. Unfortunately, Dean was able to block anything Grant threw, so they weren't really making any progress. Dean picked up on this and ran out of sight.

"Where did you go Dean? Come out here and fight me!" yelled Grant. He did not see Dean coming up behind him, but Jane did.

"Grant! Look out!" she screamed. But it was too late. When Grant turned around he was hit down to the floor.

"Now I've got you in a way to let me win!" Dean proclaimed. "Be prepared to meet your maker!" As he thrust the sword into the ground, Grant was able to roll away to the side and get up. He backed away from Agent Dean. "Oh, are you now scared of me Grant? Is that why you went backwards?"

"Alright Dean, I'll give you one chance. Just let Jane go, and we'll pretend like none of this ever happened. Does that sound like a good idea?"

"I'm not agreeing to any of your stupid tricks"

"Well, you've left me no choice." Grant then threw his sword with the back end aimed at Dean, wanting to hit Dean just to knock him out. However, the sword rotated with the sharp end hitting Agent Dean right in the heart. Dean fell to the ground and all was silent. Grant proceeded to go over to Jane and untie her from the wooden support.

"Oh my gosh, is he dead?" she asked, and Grant shook his head.

"It was a complete accident, though." Grant replied.

"Oh," she responded. After a few minutes of silence, Jane asked yet another question. "When you said to Agent Dean you loved me, did you mean it?"

"Yes. I meant it completely. I love you, Jane Rizzoli."

"You know what? I love you too, Joe Grant." She kissed him and he kissed back, and it was as beautiful as any heroic kiss.

**Author's Note two: So, how did you guys like it? Did you think it was funny? Review with your answer. And remember, it was meant to be funny. Please don't be offended if you like Dean that I made him the bad guy. Now dedications: I dedicate this to my friend Stephanie. I think I'm ready for the big serious stories now that I have successfully completed a funny story. Consider this part of the payback story I owe you :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own _Rizzoli and Isles_. If I did, Grant would have never left. End of story**


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